i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
