i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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