No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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