i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
worst night to have a conscience
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
