i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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