ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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