Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
