dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
