Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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