did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
