Will you blow on my dice?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
