woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
