Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
