Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
