Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize