That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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