Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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