so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
