She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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