and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize