i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
