we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
