My friends, they love my intelligence
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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