youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
