Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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