so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
