I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
