ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
