Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
