I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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