They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
