WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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