Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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