I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
