Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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