she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
