About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
