Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
