No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
so much tequila, so little girl.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
