this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
