I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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