Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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