What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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