I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
