Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
