how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize