'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
