T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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