I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
