I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize