He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
