For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
