At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
