Define "chronic" masturbator.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
