feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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