Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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