My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
