I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
