Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
