Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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