OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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