Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
