did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You need Xanax blowdarts
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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