but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
A bitchslap is in order.
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