Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
