I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
