fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
