Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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